However, this morning God had different plans for me. I'm in the midst of a very big decision in my life, one God has asked me to answer over and over again. "Are you really all in?"
As a LeadHer Director, I have been reading Mark Batterson's "The Circle Maker" with my fellow sisters. We've been praying some big, audacious prayers and seeing big, crazy results. So it's no wonder that many of us are having the question of "Are you really all in?" pop up and tested in our lives.
So this morning was no chance or circumstance. I 100% believe that God is by my side and leading through these waters. (Believe me, it's nerve-wrecking, I've had Hillsong United's "Oceans" playing on repeat for a month!) I woke up around 3:30 a.m. and to my surprise I could not go back to sleep. The worries of my decision and my family's status started to creep in; however, I was determined that I was not going to let it entangle me today.
I grabbed my phone in the dark and began to read scripture and encouraging posts, and started to pray. Then, I felt God's prompting, "If you're serious, then get up and really pray!" So I got up on my knees at my bedside and began to pray. To my surprise, the message alerts on my phone began to go off, two people were messaging me almost simultaneously. One was telling me exciting news and praying with me, and the other was asking for prayer.
I had some serious prayer time -- like ugly cry serious prayer. So I thought I was good when I was finished praying; however, I was still awake. Knowing the big plans ahead of me, I grabbed my stuff and thought I would get a head's start on my tasks in the living room. But God had other plans.
Almost as soon as I sat down and started to work, I received a text from another dear friend saying that she had been praying for me. I was encouraged and thanked her, then we started talking more in depth. I told her about my early morning prompting to pray, and she said that she had also been up at that time praying for me! I was amazed, and then she shared scripture with me Deuteronomy 30:9-10. I, of course, was intrigued and looked it up in YouVersion. I love to read several translations of the Bible; however, this time when I opened the app The Message translation was selected. Some believers do not agree with The Message because it's a modern version that paraphrases the Bible. However, being a writer, I love the easy, yet beautifully segmented scripts.
Before I post the scripture I have to give you a little backstory. As most of you know, I am a single, never married 30-year-old woman who loves children. Naturally, I desire to have a family of my own someday, basically since I was four I knew I wanted to be a Momma. So being in the stage I'm in, there are days when the desires are almost painful to the point of mourning, and because of different family histories, I fear not being able to have bare children of my own when I am married. So not wanting to consume myself with more fear, I don't talk about it a lot. I spend time with children as much as possible, love every minute of it and just trust God. However, lately it seems God has been giving me messages to let me know even more that He does know my heart's desire, and He truly is beside me.
So I looked up the scripture in The Message and read this, and you can tell what leapt off the screen:
8-9 And you will make a new start, listening obediently to God, keeping all his commandments that I’m commanding you today. God, your God, will outdo himself in making things go well for you: you’ll have babies, get calves, grow crops, and enjoy an all-around good life. Yes, God will start enjoying you again, making things go well for you just as he enjoyed doing it for your ancestors.
10But only if you listen obediently to God, your God, and keep the commandments and regulations written in this Book of Revelation. Nothing halfhearted here; you must return to God, your God, totally, heart and soul, holding nothing back.
At this point, I was still texting my friend and sent her what I just read. I was ecstatic! Since reading "The Circle Maker," I have been circling the promises of God and that most certainly felt like a promise specifically for me in that moment. We texted for a bit more about our excitement for what God was doing and then gave our goodbyes for the day. You would think this would be enough for one exciting morning but no, God still was not done.
Another dear friend messaged me around the end of that conversation to tell me that she was also praying for me. At this point, it's around 6 a.m., when most of my friends are getting up and ready for work so hearing that again was no biggie, right? So I proceeded to tell my friend the excitement of what had happened, and she also shared my excitement. Then, after telling her that I was awake around 3:30 a.m. praying, she tells me she was also praying for me at 4 a.m. Friends, that's now 3 people praying for me at 4:00 a.m., and this is not normal! Needless to say, at this point I am crying again. What an amazing display of God's love for me that He would have three amazing people up before the crack of dawn praying with me!
Upon this realization, I knew I had to share. I know there are many of you who think you're at the end of the rope, and God isn't hearing your prayers, or you may not even believe in God. Please, let this be a sign to you! He sees your struggles. He knows your heart's desires. He loves you more than life, and that's why God sent His son, Jesus Christ, to die for you so you could have eternal life with Him! He's good with the details. He knows the number of hairs on your head and the stars in the sky. He takes care of the birds, trees and all the seas, and He longs to care for you even more. If you're in need of prayer or have questions about a relationship with God, please message me. I would be happy to help you or find someone who can help you.
I pray the Lord blesses you all with a wonderful day! After all, it's just now about 8 a.m. CST. He's up to something...
Love you, friends!
Many blessings,
Jenn
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