A Letter of Wisdom to My 18-Year-Old Self

Earlier this month I hit a pretty big milestone, I turned 30. While many fear it, I embraced it because of what I have learned in my short time here. I know not everyone is promised another year and I know many great things are to come. 

I also know I have a torch to carry for the generations to come. I think of the mighty women of God in my family: my grandmothers and my mother who all stood courageously to raise their children in a Christian home, even if they sometimes had to stand alone. I'm encouraged by the words in 2 Timothy 1:5, "I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you."

It's the torch, challenge and inspiration received from my family and LeadHer sisters that encouraged me to prayerfully pen this letter. It's a love letter to my Jesus, who I met 23 years ago today, and also to my sisters that it might bring hope, help and healing.

Dear 18-year-old Jenn,

"Sweet," "gullible," "always smiling," Jenn, these are the descriptions that you have grown up hearing, and they will follow you into your future. However, as much as love to daydream, I have to warn you that the reality of the years to come will rage a war on your innocence, and this is why it's so important for you to listen to these words of wisdom: guard your heart; you are beautiful; be unique. 

Proverbs 4:23 reads, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Since you were a little girl, you have been your Daddy's "pride and joy," and he treated you like a princess, when He had the time. You watched every fairy tale and chick flick because they fed even more into your daydreams and innocence. And, you have craved that attention from a guy every day of your life. However, this has created a false and hurtful reality. While it's wonderful to see the good in people, you must proceed with caution, and guard your heart for the one that God has truly created to love you as He does. You befriend and chase boy after boy, guy after guy looking for your "Prince Charming" and craving his attention, and time after time, you are hurt because "Prince Charming" does not exist in reality. The truth is the only love that will ever truly fill the love your heart desires is the love you already know in your Heavenly Father. He will always have time for you, and give you so much attention. He can woo and sweep you off your feet like no other. The more attention you give to following Him and reading His love letters, the more you will see His love. Then, as much as you hate to wait, I truly believe when you fall "head over heels" in love with your Heavenly Father, He will lead you to a man who will love you as Christ loves His church. Neither of you will be perfect because we do not live in a perfect world; however, if you seek God together, there's no telling the places He will take you.

Sweet girl, you must not only guard your heart for God and His true love, also guard your heart for strength. The reality is we live in a dark world, and the enemy will use situations and the people you love to hurt you. You will see tragedy, trials and temptations that want to steal your innocence. Death and circumstances will take people from your life like a revolving door, and harsh words from those closest to you will hurt. However, love them and enjoy every moment and memory that you can with them because tomorrow is not promised and there's a purpose for every person that crosses your path. You will be broken; however, know your Heavenly Father loves to catch you, your tears and the pieces of your heart. He will wrap you and them in His loving arms and restore them for His greater purpose. You truly cannot imagine the amazing love of your Heavenly Father. 

He loves you and in His eyes, you are beautiful. He made you in His image. These are the words He knows to be true and longs to hear from you, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." The Father, Son and Holy Spirit created man and woman in their image and said, "they were very good." I know you struggle with your weight, the photos in the magazines, TV and movie screens, as well as the harsh words from mean girls and guys. However, know that God sees you as beautiful no matter what the number on the scale is because all of His creation is good. He sees your beautiful heart and does not want you to cause harm to the beautiful person He created just so you can "fit in" to the false expectations and lies of an evil world. Trust the plans He has for you that were written long before you were born and know you are beautiful each and every step of the way.

You were born to standout, my dear, so be your unique self. Laugh at your quirkiness and embrace your personal style. You have been a Jesus Freak since you accepted Him at age 7 and have not been ashamed to speak His name. Stand strong and do not back down. It will not be easy, but Christ did not promise that the Christian walk would be easy; however, He did promise that He would not leave or forsake us. You will be questioned by your family and friends but know this is a sure sign that you are doing what is right in following the will of your Heavenly Father. People have always looked at you as "weird" but embrace it because you are part of the chosen called by Him for a greater purpose. As it says in 1 Peter 2:9-10 The Message, "But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted." You will feel rejected time and time again but do not give up. Remember His promises, lean on Him and know that He will always love and accept you.

So stay strong, stand firm in the purpose He gave you and keep shining your bright smile for Jesus! And one final thought, in the wise words of your youth pastor, "Keep 'em thirsty!"

Love always,
Jenn