A Jolt of Joy: My DFL 2014 Experience

Posted from @jenntaylor417 on October 15:

I've been living in such renewed joy since #DFLconf. I've been searching for the right words to say. To illustrate and the verses that make the experience even more personal and precious. Oh my goodness. I'm in awe. I know the experience has felt like the veil of depression has been lifted and I received a spiritual jolt of joy. However, it wasn't until I was searching the scriptures tonight that everything became so clear. 

At the beginning of the year, I was praying for the Lord to give me a theme word and scripture for the year. I knew difficulty was ahead and He led me to "Focus" with 2 Cor. 4:17-18. So I was searching tonight for scriptures that described the daily transformation my heart was undergoing. Then, right there it was right before my eyes again 2 Cor. 4:16. I had read it so many times this year but oh it made so much sense now. Again, He has shown His amazing, constant love and faithfulness. Drawing me in so much more closer to Him this year. Reminding me of my First Love. My One True Love ~ Jesus ~ my Savior. When all seemed lost, He was and is always there. Praise the Lord! 

The year is not over and so much more is left to be learned on this amazing journey. Oh, I have no idea what's ahead. Only my Heavenly Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit know, and I am certainly okay with that. What an adventure awaits! Many, many thanks and blessings again to @deblindell & @designedsisterhood for an Amazing #DFLconf! To God be the Glory!!! 

What Your Heart Needs for the Hard Days (a book review)

Diagnosis. Divorce. Death. These are some of reasons our hearts may take a detour from happiness. They may cripple our spirit and create a thirst for the sunshine. However, just when you feel like you can’t possibly endure anymore, that’s when hope enters the picture.

Hope was released in the form of a new devotional by Holley Gerth on September 2. What Your Heart Needs for the Hard Days includes 52 encouragements, based on the books of Psalms, that may be read daily or weekly.  Each devotion includes a verse(s) from Psalm, a touching illustration from Holley and space to record written personalized prayer, as well as what you hear from God.

As always, Holley has a way of speaking soft, Truth-bearing words that relate to every woman. She knows life contains hard days and reminds us that God is in control and we will be okay.

“We can wonder at how many blessings fill our lives while at the same time sensing an aching emptiness that comes from desires unfulfilled,” Holley writes. “God understands both. So what do we do? We embrace the paradox. We bring our sorrows as well as our joys to God.”

So if you find yourself or someone you love facing the hard days, I strongly recommend you to grab a copy of What Your Heart Needs for the Hard Days. This books will remind you of God’s strength in our weakness; His ever-presence in our lives and His constant desire to meet our needs. 

As an additional help, you may join Holley and other sisters in similar situations for Holley’s first Facebook Book Club. It’s free and you just need to like Holley’s Facebook Page to join! Book club starts with reading and posting Day 1 tomorrow. Also, if you love what you’re reading, What Your Heart Needs for the Hard Days is a beautiful companion to read with Holley’s book You’re Going to Be Okay.

For more information about Holley and her encouraging books, visit holleygerth.com.

Seeking Direction in the Dark

"You're Going to Be Okay" and "What Your Heart Needs for
the Hard Days" by Holley Gerth. Both were released this
year and have been a tremendous blessing to me.

It's a common occurrence when you are meeting new people, vying for a new position or dating someone new that you are asked to describe yourself. No, one's self is not really an easy subject to talk about always. Not everyone wants to talk about themselves, but it's one of those hurdles that we all have to face when we are putting ourselves out there. So, if you were to ask me to describe myself, I would generally say that I am passionate, sincere, cheerful and encouraging; however, as I have slowly stated in the past few months, I have not felt like my normal self.

It was near the end of 2013 when I first started noticing some differences in me. However, before I get too much into the story I must state that this story is not completely about me. It's not for pity. It's for His glory. I'm sharing this because I know that God has been laying this on my heart to share during the entire process. He wants to use this story to minister others. I have just been waiting for Him to give me the words to say and the green light to go. This is a story of His ongoing strength, direction and provision.

So as I was stating, near the end of 2013, I started noticing differences in me: slow weight gain, and difficulty getting it off; crying spats that lasted at least 15 minuets, and started at the drop of a hat; and complete exhaustion were just some of my symptoms. These symptoms were not anything near the energized, active and excited person that I think that I normally am. I thought it might just be grieving during the holidays or the ongoing, never-ending winter, but it seemed to continue to get worse as spring drew near. So I researched my symptoms and sought medical attention. Several appointments with multiple doctors were made, and even though I was praying they were wrong, I knew the diagnosis before they confirmed it.

Not to worry. It's nothing near life threatening. It just felt like a potential dream-killer as my heart ached and longed for a desire not yet fulfilled. Questions flooded my mind as to how this would impact my future, relationships and family. The biggest question was, "Would I be able to have a family?" I don't know the answers to this yet; however, I do know The One who has all the answers. God isn't done writing this story, and here is the cool part. While I was going through these dark days, God's love definitely shined bright. Again and again, I am so thankful He is in the details! For in my darkest days, my Daddy God drew some amazing pictures of love!

In February, during my hardest days, a book entitled "You're Going to Be Okay: Encouraging Truth Your Heart Needs to Hear, Especially on the Hard Days" was released by Holley Gerth, my favorite author. So while I was going to multiple appointments, I was able to dig into this book filled with scripture and encouraging truths! I read and reread the chapters again and again. It was just what I needed and my Daddy God knew it! However, that was not all.

When the time came that my diagnosis was confirmed, God orchestrated the most amazing miracle to me. To my amazing surprise, He had already encircled me with support from close friends who knew my battle personally. During my darkest days, my Daddy God was showing His love bright through some of His dearest people! In my pain, I was surrounded with the most sincere concern and encouragement. So thankful their love and support continues, and our relationships are growing stronger. I feel so blessed to share this part of the journey with such special people. I'm so grateful to have loved ones to call on during the down days. Our God is so Amazing!

Oh, there's still so much to this story that God is developing so I can't divulge all the details right now. The battle is not over; however, I already know there is victory. I know there is healing. He's shown me that. It's a trusting process. I'm just waiting and trusting in His timing. And, just this week, as I was driving, I felt so blessed as Kutless' "Even If (The Healing Doesn't Come)" played on the radio. It was a great reminder that He is good and faithful.  In my weakness He is Strong! Even though this chapter was new to me, it certainly was not new to Him. It's just refining me into a more grateful and passionate version of me. Thank you, Jesus!

Before I close this post, I just want to encourage all of you who might be going through similar situations. Please reach out to someone. We are not made to battle alone. It's okay to ask for help. You don't always have to be the strong one. I pray you will reach out to God during this time and find a helping hand.

Much love & many blessings!
Jenn


Tune me in to foot-tapping songs, set these once-broken bones to dancing.
Don’t look too close for blemishes, give me a clean bill of health.
God, make a fresh start in me,  shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life...
Unbutton my lips, dear God;  I’ll let loose with your praise. 
~ Psalm 51:8-10; 15 The Message

Preparing for 31

As August 31 winds down, my mind wanders as I myself am approaching 31 next Sunday. Naturally, I think of the Proverbs 31 woman and I believe a study of her legacy is one that I definitely want to pursue in the coming year. 

Although I have no idea if/when "wife" will be part of my role, I do know that I want to strive to be more of a noble, God-fearing woman every day. So to more days of appreciating the blessings He bestows:

Proverbs 31: A Wife of Noble Character

10 [b]Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
    She is more precious than rubies.
11 Her husband can trust her,
    and she will greatly enrich his life.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life...

25 25 

She is clothed with strength and dignity,
    and she laughs without fear of the future.
26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
    and she gives instructions with kindness.
27 She carefully watches everything in her household
    and suffers nothing from laziness.

28 Her children stand and bless her.
    Her husband praises her:
29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
    but you surpass them all!”

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
    but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
31 Reward her for all she has done.
    Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. (NIV)

Much love and many blessings,

Jenn

Hillsong Worship: No Other Name Tour

JESUS!

Wow!

James River Church hosted a soldout Hillsong Worship concert with the phenomenal Christine Caine in Springfield on Wednesday, August 27. What an amazing blessing to see the church, the community, believers from different denominations come together to worship the name of Jesus!

I purposely sat in the stadium seating for the purpose of worship, for my worship and to enjoy watching the worship of our community, and worship we did! The whole evening young and old worshipped with hands raised, clapping, praising and jumping for joy in the name of Jesus. What a blessed sight. I came into worship with a heavy heart and walked out so much lighter with hope and peace! Thank you, Lord, for such a tremendous opportunity!

Hillsong Worship truly led us into a glimpse of heaven’s worship as they sang so many of their familiar hits: Mighty to Save, Oceans, Forever Reign, Cornerstone, etc. etc.

Christine Caine also brought such a powerful, challenging message from her new book, Unstoppable. I can’t wait to read it! Here are just a few lines from @ChristineCaine that truly spoke to me:

• ·         Nobody wins until everybody wins... Run your race. Carry your baton.
• ·         There's no retirement. There's only refinement... You were not put on this world for retirement.
• ·         The most powerful force on the face of this earth always has and always will be the blood of Jesus! It sets people free!
• ·         Don't short circuit your destiny. Run with perseverance.
• ·         God didn't send you to earth to start. He sent you to finish your race.
• ·         We're here carrying a baton of faith to a generation.

Hillsong Worship celebrated the name of Jesus all evening. I highly recommend that you checkout hillsong.com to see if they are coming to your area. Also, visit designedforlife.org to join James River as we Celebrate Jesus and all He has done with Christine Caine, Charlotte Gambill, Priscilla Shirer and CeCe Winans Oct. 9-11 at the JQH Arena in Springfield. Truly, there is No Other Name.

Reflections on "13 Going on 30"

"Thirty, flirty and thriving," as a 30-year-old, single female who has loved "13 Going on 30" since its 2004 release, I definitely wanted that phrase to be a theme for this year of my life. But, as this journey called life goes, of course, my 30th year has had its ups and downs. To be honest, it's more like the not-so 30, flirty and thriving. However, more than ever, my greatest passion, my love for children has become much more evident.

So as I watched one of my favorite movies for the umpteenth time the other day, many thoughts came to mind about my life, my loved ones and God's hand in it all. I couldn’t help but think how much life has changed in the last 10 years.  

When the movie came out in 2004, I was a driven, college sophomore, enrolled in my favorite Magazine Design and Editing class and so excited to create a magazine prototype. I wanted to be "Jenn Taylor, big-time magazine editor." I was a planner; very wrapped up in achieving the dream like Jenna Rink. At 10, I knew I was going to be a writer, and more specifically a journalist at age 13. I collected storage bins full of magazines for "ideas." I was the girl who made her schedules for the next semester, and several semesters ahead before the materials were even available, because I was so excited about my future.

However, also at the time, I was a proud cousin of three little girls ages 2, 1 and 9 months. Today, those sweet girls that I fondly think of, spoil and love like my nieces are 13 and 11. They were the inspiration for my magazine and so much more since then. As I watched the movie, I couldn't help but reflect on how much I desired to be an adult at their age. How much I dreamed of what was to come.

So I would like to share a few words of loving advice to “my girls” and their generation.

Dear girls,

You are so smart, full of life, energy and imagination. So bright and beautiful, I know you will grow up to be wonderful, world-changing women one day. I know that you can achieve whatever dream you have someday. However, I pray that you don’t rush ahead. Soak up and relish every moment in your life right now.

Enjoy your time with your friends and family. Spend time with loved ones who you can laugh, cry and be silly with, the ones who love you just the way you are because you are amazing! Don’t worry about wasting your time with people who are mean, want to use you or make you something you are not. You are such beautiful, rare treasures that deserve to be loved. Cherish your time with these people.  

Appreciate these special people because you may need to lean on them during the tough times. Life is going to throw you unexpected curveballs and you’re going to need help beyond yourself. Friends and family are such a blessing from God; however, I pray that you will turn to God first in these moments. He always hears you and wants to help you. He’s the one who has helped me the most and turning to Him is the greatest advice that anyone can give you. We all love you; however, He loves you more than you can ever imagine.

I love you, girls, more than words can say. You are some of the greatest blessings in my life and I pray God blesses you abundantly!

Much love always,

Jenn

We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.
~ Proverbs 16:9 NLT

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. ~ Psalm 139:14 ESV

Many, LORD my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare. 

~ Psalm 40:5

When God Calls Early in the Morning

I'm not a morning person. My body naturally wakes up around 9 a.m. but because of work I get up in the mornings and consume coffee to get me going and functioning.

However, this morning God had different plans for me. I'm in the midst of a very big decision in my life, one God has asked me to answer over and over again. "Are you really all in?"

As a LeadHer Director, I have been reading Mark Batterson's "The Circle Maker" with my fellow sisters. We've been praying some big, audacious prayers and seeing big, crazy results. So it's no wonder that many of us are having the question of "Are you really all in?" pop up and tested in our lives.

So this morning was no chance or circumstance. I 100% believe that God is by my side and leading through these waters. (Believe me, it's nerve-wrecking, I've had Hillsong United's "Oceans" playing on repeat for a month!) I woke up around 3:30 a.m. and to my surprise I could not go back to sleep. The worries of my decision and my family's status started to creep in; however, I was determined that I was not going to let it entangle me today.

I grabbed my phone in the dark and began to read scripture and encouraging posts, and started to pray. Then, I felt God's prompting, "If you're serious, then get up and really pray!" So I got up on my knees at my bedside and began to pray. To my surprise, the message alerts on my phone began to go off, two people were messaging me almost simultaneously. One was telling me exciting news and praying with me, and the other was asking for prayer.

I had some serious prayer time -- like ugly cry serious prayer. So I thought I was good when I was finished praying; however, I was still awake. Knowing the big plans ahead of me, I grabbed my stuff and thought I would get a head's start on my tasks in the living room. But God had other plans.

Almost as soon as I sat down and started to work, I received a text from another dear friend saying that she had been praying for me. I was encouraged and thanked her, then we started talking more in depth. I told her about my early morning prompting to pray, and she said that she had also been up at that time praying for me! I was amazed, and then she shared scripture with me Deuteronomy 30:9-10. I, of course, was intrigued and looked it up in YouVersion. I love to read several translations of the Bible; however, this time when I opened the app The Message translation was selected. Some believers do not agree with The Message because it's a modern version that paraphrases the Bible. However, being a writer, I love the easy, yet beautifully segmented scripts.

Before I post the scripture I have to give you a little backstory. As most of you know, I am a single, never married 30-year-old woman who loves children. Naturally, I desire to have a family of my own someday, basically since I was four I knew I wanted to be a Momma. So being in the stage I'm in, there are days when the desires are almost painful to the point of mourning, and because of different family histories, I fear not being able to have bare children of my own when I am married. So not wanting to consume myself with more fear, I don't talk about it a lot. I spend time with children as much as possible, love every minute of it and just trust God. However, lately it seems God has been giving me messages to let me know even more that He does know my heart's desire, and He truly is beside me.

So I looked up the scripture in The Message and read this, and you can tell what leapt off the screen:

8-9 And you will make a new start, listening obediently to God, keeping all his commandments that I’m commanding you today. God, your God, will outdo himself in making things go well for you: you’ll have babies, get calves, grow crops, and enjoy an all-around good life. Yes, God will start enjoying you again, making things go well for you just as he enjoyed doing it for your ancestors.

10But only if you listen obediently to God, your God, and keep the commandments and regulations written in this Book of Revelation. Nothing halfhearted here; you must return to God, your God, totally, heart and soul, holding nothing back.

At this point, I was still texting my friend and sent her what I just read. I was ecstatic! Since reading "The Circle Maker," I have been circling the promises of God and that most certainly felt like a promise specifically for me in that moment. We texted for a bit more about our excitement for what God was doing and then gave our goodbyes for the day. You would think this would be enough for one exciting morning but no, God still was not done.

Another dear friend messaged me around the end of that conversation to tell me that she was also praying for me. At this point, it's around 6 a.m., when most of my friends are getting up and ready for work so hearing that again was no biggie, right? So I proceeded to tell my friend the excitement of what had happened, and she also shared my excitement. Then, after telling her that I was awake around 3:30 a.m. praying, she tells me she was also praying for me at 4 a.m. Friends, that's now 3 people praying for me at 4:00 a.m., and this is not normal! Needless to say, at this point I am crying again. What an amazing display of God's love for me that He would have three amazing people up before the crack of dawn praying with me!

Upon this realization, I knew I had to share. I know there are many of you who think you're at the end of the  rope, and God isn't hearing your prayers, or you may not even believe in God. Please, let this be a sign to you! He sees your struggles. He knows your heart's desires. He loves you more than life, and that's why God sent His son, Jesus Christ, to die for you so you could have eternal life with Him! He's good with the details. He knows the number of hairs on your head and the stars in the sky. He takes care of the birds, trees and all the seas, and He longs to care for you even more. If you're in need of prayer or have questions about a relationship with God, please message me. I would be happy to help you or find someone who can help you.

I pray the Lord blesses you all with a wonderful day! After all, it's just now about 8 a.m. CST.  He's up to something...

Love you, friends!

Many blessings,

Jenn