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| "You're Going to Be Okay" and "What Your Heart Needs for the Hard Days" by Holley Gerth. Both were released this year and have been a tremendous blessing to me. |
It was near the end of 2013 when I first started noticing some differences in me. However, before I get too much into the story I must state that this story is not completely about me. It's not for pity. It's for His glory. I'm sharing this because I know that God has been laying this on my heart to share during the entire process. He wants to use this story to minister others. I have just been waiting for Him to give me the words to say and the green light to go. This is a story of His ongoing strength, direction and provision.
So as I was stating, near the end of 2013, I started noticing differences in me: slow weight gain, and difficulty getting it off; crying spats that lasted at least 15 minuets, and started at the drop of a hat; and complete exhaustion were just some of my symptoms. These symptoms were not anything near the energized, active and excited person that I think that I normally am. I thought it might just be grieving during the holidays or the ongoing, never-ending winter, but it seemed to continue to get worse as spring drew near. So I researched my symptoms and sought medical attention. Several appointments with multiple doctors were made, and even though I was praying they were wrong, I knew the diagnosis before they confirmed it.
Not to worry. It's nothing near life threatening. It just felt like a potential dream-killer as my heart ached and longed for a desire not yet fulfilled. Questions flooded my mind as to how this would impact my future, relationships and family. The biggest question was, "Would I be able to have a family?" I don't know the answers to this yet; however, I do know The One who has all the answers. God isn't done writing this story, and here is the cool part. While I was going through these dark days, God's love definitely shined bright. Again and again, I am so thankful He is in the details! For in my darkest days, my Daddy God drew some amazing pictures of love!
In February, during my hardest days, a book entitled "You're Going to Be Okay: Encouraging Truth Your Heart Needs to Hear, Especially on the Hard Days" was released by Holley Gerth, my favorite author. So while I was going to multiple appointments, I was able to dig into this book filled with scripture and encouraging truths! I read and reread the chapters again and again. It was just what I needed and my Daddy God knew it! However, that was not all.
When the time came that my diagnosis was confirmed, God orchestrated the most amazing miracle to me. To my amazing surprise, He had already encircled me with support from close friends who knew my battle personally. During my darkest days, my Daddy God was showing His love bright through some of His dearest people! In my pain, I was surrounded with the most sincere concern and encouragement. So thankful their love and support continues, and our relationships are growing stronger. I feel so blessed to share this part of the journey with such special people. I'm so grateful to have loved ones to call on during the down days. Our God is so Amazing!
Oh, there's still so much to this story that God is developing so I can't divulge all the details right now. The battle is not over; however, I already know there is victory. I know there is healing. He's shown me that. It's a trusting process. I'm just waiting and trusting in His timing. And, just this week, as I was driving, I felt so blessed as Kutless' "Even If (The Healing Doesn't Come)" played on the radio. It was a great reminder that He is good and faithful. In my weakness He is Strong! Even though this chapter was new to me, it certainly was not new to Him. It's just refining me into a more grateful and passionate version of me. Thank you, Jesus!
Before I close this post, I just want to encourage all of you who might be going through similar situations. Please reach out to someone. We are not made to battle alone. It's okay to ask for help. You don't always have to be the strong one. I pray you will reach out to God during this time and find a helping hand.
Much love & many blessings!
Jenn
Tune me in to foot-tapping songs, set these once-broken bones to dancing.
Don’t look too close for blemishes, give me a clean bill of health.
God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life...
Unbutton my lips, dear God; I’ll let loose with your praise.
~ Psalm 51:8-10; 15 The Message
Not to worry. It's nothing near life threatening. It just felt like a potential dream-killer as my heart ached and longed for a desire not yet fulfilled. Questions flooded my mind as to how this would impact my future, relationships and family. The biggest question was, "Would I be able to have a family?" I don't know the answers to this yet; however, I do know The One who has all the answers. God isn't done writing this story, and here is the cool part. While I was going through these dark days, God's love definitely shined bright. Again and again, I am so thankful He is in the details! For in my darkest days, my Daddy God drew some amazing pictures of love!
In February, during my hardest days, a book entitled "You're Going to Be Okay: Encouraging Truth Your Heart Needs to Hear, Especially on the Hard Days" was released by Holley Gerth, my favorite author. So while I was going to multiple appointments, I was able to dig into this book filled with scripture and encouraging truths! I read and reread the chapters again and again. It was just what I needed and my Daddy God knew it! However, that was not all.
When the time came that my diagnosis was confirmed, God orchestrated the most amazing miracle to me. To my amazing surprise, He had already encircled me with support from close friends who knew my battle personally. During my darkest days, my Daddy God was showing His love bright through some of His dearest people! In my pain, I was surrounded with the most sincere concern and encouragement. So thankful their love and support continues, and our relationships are growing stronger. I feel so blessed to share this part of the journey with such special people. I'm so grateful to have loved ones to call on during the down days. Our God is so Amazing!
Oh, there's still so much to this story that God is developing so I can't divulge all the details right now. The battle is not over; however, I already know there is victory. I know there is healing. He's shown me that. It's a trusting process. I'm just waiting and trusting in His timing. And, just this week, as I was driving, I felt so blessed as Kutless' "Even If (The Healing Doesn't Come)" played on the radio. It was a great reminder that He is good and faithful. In my weakness He is Strong! Even though this chapter was new to me, it certainly was not new to Him. It's just refining me into a more grateful and passionate version of me. Thank you, Jesus!
Before I close this post, I just want to encourage all of you who might be going through similar situations. Please reach out to someone. We are not made to battle alone. It's okay to ask for help. You don't always have to be the strong one. I pray you will reach out to God during this time and find a helping hand.
Much love & many blessings!
Jenn
Tune me in to foot-tapping songs, set these once-broken bones to dancing.
Don’t look too close for blemishes, give me a clean bill of health.
God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life...
Unbutton my lips, dear God; I’ll let loose with your praise.
~ Psalm 51:8-10; 15 The Message
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